How to make a top 10 record (no, really)

I found this guide to making a hit single. It almost reads like something written by a businessman rather than a musician-- it describes the golden rules that you should follow, to make a hit pop single, without having any real talent. Very cold and clinical.

For example:
"The Golden Rule for a classic Number One single is intro, verse one, chorus one, verse two, chorus two, breakdown section, double chorus, outro."

"Who knows what difference a sleeve for a single makes? Go into a record shop, look at what the Top Twenty has for sleeves - pretty much of a nothing when you see them all in their racks. People worry over graphics. They bleed over them. They devote their lives to them. The graphics that a band use go a long way into building up the "attitude" their would-be following can relate to.

You don't need any of that. Just make sure that it's bright and colourful and that the name of the song and the act jumps out of the front cover."

Is it really possible that pop music is this formulaic? Well... get this. These guys ACTUALLY DID ALL THIS. Their band, the Timelords, cut a single called "Doctorin' The Tardis" that made it to the top.

They "gamed the system," big time, and then wrote this howto as the ultimate gesture of contempt towards pop culture.

Just remember, once you've made your millions, be sure to remember the blog where you found the info!


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